In a twist worthy of a Broadway curtain call (or at least a very cheeky sitcom), comedian Shaun Micallef might not have walked away with the Dancing With The Stars mirrorball trophy on Monday night, but he did walk away with a flustered Dr Chris Brown and the most talked-about kiss on TV this week.
Micallef and his dance partner Ash-Leigh Hunter delivered a delightfully daffy freestyle routine to the Broadway classic If My Friends Could See Me Now, and oh, if they could’ve. The judges lapped it up, with Helen Richey throwing down a perfect 10 and everyone else clapping like proud theatre mums.
But the real performance came in the skybox, where Shaun and Chris exchanged heartfelt words, lunch invitations and (wait for it) a brief, blink-and-you-miss-it smooch on the lips.
“Are you serious? No, this is not for television, this is a serious, human moment,” Shaun said, suddenly turning Dancing With The Stars into Married at First Sight. Chris, caught somewhere between charmed and mildly terrified, replied, “I’d love to,” right before Shaun leaned in and lip-locked him like he was sealing a parking fine with a kiss.
Cue stunned silence, laughter and the entire judging panel collectively forgetting how to blink.
“What is happening?!” screamed Sonia Kruger, whose internal monologue had clearly escaped.
“What is happening?!” echoed judge Sharna Burgess, officially confirming that yes, everyone was wondering the same thing.
Social media, of course, did what social media does best: descended into glorious chaos. “It’s the @drchrisbrown x Micallef kiss for me,” posted Brittany Hockley, while another fan wrote, “You really do entertain with everything you give us Shaun.” Not everyone was thrilled though, with one user declaring, “That kiss was totally unwanted,” while another conspiracy theorist chimed in: “Scripted! For votes!” (Ah yes, the ol’ kiss-for-votes strategy. Works every time.)
Back on Earth, after scoring 37 from the judges, Shaun turned back to his new brunch buddy and asked the question every viewer was thinking: “What score did you give me, big boy?”
Chris, by now fully blushing and one step from fanning himself with the cue cards, declared, “I gave you an 11 out of 10, Shaun Micallef!”
And just like that, everyone else might as well have packed up and gone home.
Still, there was a winner, technically. Home and Away star Kyle Shilling took out the grand prize with partner Lily Cornish, performing a powerful routine featuring a didgeridoo, emotion and zero kissing of the host.
“I’m feeling mixed emotions,” Kyle said of his win, unaware that half the country was still emotionally recovering from The Kissâ„¢.
So while Shaun didn’t claim the trophy, he may have won something more valuable: Chris Brown’s heart. Or at the very least, a very awkward lunch date.
Images: Channel 7
